A Sorry I Hoped To Be Heard...

hey ya'll!
bing a bit buzy wif me personal lappy nowadayz.fuk....sumthin iz differ bout it n it cant run all the programmes it used to.now itz juz makin me life harder den it oledi iz!!!

well...1st tingz 1st.i would like to say sry to all me fwenz bout last wednesday.
i noe itz a stupid ting to say but i wasnt meself again...
i juz got so much tings in me mind n i juz nid a breather.tatz y some of u guyz saw me on the balcony at skool.i was juz tryin to tink through everythin tatz happenin n like some say,self-reflection(i tink?).

i tot it was all over...but i was wrong.it came back...

tryin so hard juz to relax n all....
i feel so bad for meself.so many mixed feelingz aroused within me.made me so hard to control meself.i may haf either worry or scare some of u guyz.i'm sry man.....

juz felt so lonely,hated,rejected n ignored...but all tiz feelins could b juz me.or r they?
i had kept so much negative feelinz within meself for as long as me can remember.i knew it has all to come out sooner or later.i juz had an over-flow of negativity within me waitin to be released.

if i haf hurt any of u guyz feelins or anythin tat i haf done sooo wrong to u guyz,i am rilli sry...
even after wat happened...i do noticed tat some of u rilli care for me...
i dont mean to make any of u guyz worry about me.
itz not u guyz,itz me.so u guyz dont haf to apolagise to me.i'm the one tatz supposed to apolagise to u.

when goin bak from skool last wednesday,me n khidir hang out at mac for awhile.i told him of these feelins n it oso scare him a lil.i had an urge for bloodlust.....
tat iz so not the real me!sry khidir...

n nunu,if i recall correctly,u say sry to me when u were leavin.wat for?to me,u didnt do anythin wrong.even if u do,u were forgiven way long b4.

n rilli....i'm the one tat shuld b apolagizin to everyone else.
not to sure wat else to say now except,
if u guyz saw me went out of klass n havent return for quite a period of time,i wuld be at the balcony at lvl 3 at the escape staircase.

hoped tiz sry iz heard out by everyone...or in tiz case,read by everyone.

Me Hair!

hey guyz!
now me in skool.like i promise i'll show u guyz wat me new hair style iz gonna look like.
n well,there u go!
itz not one of the best pix but itz all i got now.
hihi!!!
ouh kayz.....tatz all for now.i got lotz of klass work to do.
haizzzzz.....

Dah Baik?

hey2!
my mood swings gone!
yea i tink itz due to me lappy prob.if itz b'cos of the other reasons,i fogot all bout them.
but den i still tink i nid me lollipop for sugar rush to stay hyper.
i noe itz unhealthy for me to eat so much lolliz but tink of it as my cigarette.

feelin pain shocks on me rite elbow hell lot more now.yea it hurts!
muz be gettin worse or sumthin.

anywayz gotta stay hapi n alwayz look positive rite?
i cant let these kinds of tings temper wif me life now can it?

cant wait for skool to start again.
tapi tahu la...rase nak gi skola ade,tak nak gi skola pun ade.
haha!!watz up wif me man?

Alrite Den!

well now i bak home oledi...
n guess wat?
the internet iz bak!
WOOOOTZZZ!!!!
my dad got a mio box from singtel recently(upgrade lagi...) n well we tried it.it seemed to haf worked out quite well.the internet connection could be fixed by itself now by the use of the programme smartfix(i tink tatz wat its called.).
the problem now iz we dont rilli noe watz gonna happen wif the new modem.
juz gotta wait n c den.

My Lappy n Internet Solutionz

yesterday i went to fiz house.
gone to chek on me laptop.plottin on the virus murder togeter.
cheked it n well....it gotten worse....T-T
den finally i had to send me lappy to the repair shop.....
kena $50.i'll be gettin it bak on tuesday.
den me other computer(yg kat rumah tu) oso kena internet problem.cannot connect liao....
wait....
den how am i postin these?i now at sean's place liao...
haha!!
mcm best gitu pakai org punye com eh?
anywayz,sean juz told me the reason to me internet miseries.
itz the bloody singtel tingy!
wtf sia!
gotta do sumthin bout tiz...but 1st i gotta try to explain to me dad wtf iz goin on.
2molo comin here again.c la how...

Wasabi Shaker Review

hey peepz!
yesterday i went to mac to buy me breakfast.
bought meself mcchiken wings(Ooooo....CHIKEN!!!) n wasabi shaker(mac friez...)!
of cos i fin the chikenz 1st den i had the longest 15 min of me life.
i tried it for the 1st time n i find it not too bad.
the 1st few bitez r ok but den at the last part, O.O
i suffered sooo much!!!

for wasabi luverz=9/10

for the haterz=dont even try it!!

lmao!itz good to try new food once in awhile.

I Tink I Noe.....

itz all i'm feelin now...
low,sad,lonely n rejected.
wat coses these mixed negative emotionz of mine?
not rilli sure...but maybe...

well a possibility iz tat i miss me lil cute cuz,ijah.like i was so absorbed wif the full contact we've made.i felt attached n i nid a gurl,the special one,more den ever now...
i tink all i nid iz a hug from her(the special one) tat lasts a few minutez...
it culd chase all the bluez i'm havin.

i felt cold n lonely even if it seems i am all hyper,hapi n had close fwenz hu cares.
about her?i dunno.i even felt as if theres a barrier in between us.its as if we're not meant to b 2geter even if some tink we do.
itz juz so cold n lonely wifout anyone tat'll b loyal to b wif me...

a black rose iz seriously how i'm feelin.
all dark n alone within meself.
n juz to keep meself hyper in skool,i nid me daily lollipop for a sugar rush.

2day i felt sad to b honest cos not many of me fwenz came to skool today.they went of to the national library to do their project.i understand tat they nid to do it there.so i'll leave them be.
dosent feel too enthusiastic as usual as it felt as if i'm all alone...

i juz had to get these inner feelingz out guyz.u dont haf to worry about me.i'll be ouh kayz. ^-^

well,i had me hair cut today straight away after skool.like some oledi knew,the spiked-headed rawker haz returned.no pix of meself after the cut now.
but soon i will show u guyz wat i looked liked.nxt klass begins on tuesday.
friday no skool n monday holiday as itz deepavali.(i tink.lol.)

ouh great....a long weekend!!!tatz juz great!
now i'll b rilli dyin of boredom at home.fuk...nothin better to do n me personnal lappy iz still in critical condition.fuker to the max!
now i'm all alone.....cryin on the inside...

n if u guyz tink i'm emoing,fuk u.tiz feelin within iz more complicated to be an emo's feelins.

all i nid iz u in me arms...den it'll be all over...
plis gurl...come to me...i cant take it much more.....

or mayb i shuld be left alone till weekz or months past to get meself back in me usual self...

of the 2 choices,i tink i prefer the 1st one best...

Mixed Feelingz...

hey guyz.....

dunno y....

but....

feelin bad n down nowadayz....

muz b tinkin too much on wat to do wif the probz i'm havin now....

or....

maybe itz juz one of those mood swingz tat i'm havin again....

or....

i juz nid me daily lollipop for a sugar rush to stay hyper enuf for the dayz activity....

or....

a bloody klass project iz pullin me feelins down(reason?i had no idea...)....

last nite i feel as if i cant sleep at all....

itz an uneasy feeling sayin tat sumthin nidz to be done or else....

den when i finally got to sleep,had a weird dream tat i cant seem to remember wat it iz....

ouh plis,gimme a sign n i'll noe wat to do....

to make me life better,plis show a damn obvious one too....

My Bloody Lappy...

got bak from skool today i tried to on my personal laptop com.
prob?yes there iz!!!n itz bad!
it seems i got a spyware runnin through me lappy!!
fuk if onli i had an anti virus tat could kill it in an instance but the ting iz,i dont haf one!!!
walao!!!
now how sia?i cant even use internet on it properly anymore!!!
but one good ting iz tat i oledi managed to upgrade me service pack 1 into a service pack 2!!!
yipee!!!
but wat good izzit if i cant use me lappy????
damn......
i gotta find peeps tat can help me out here.....
tiz prob mite go on for weeks!
i now gotta try to not use internet on the com.
wait,den how am i postin all these?
the families lappy of cos!yea i got 2 laptops at home.although itz not a good laptop but at least its better den me personal lappy now.
hope i could get it fixed soon.....i dont wan any trouble wif me computer anymore...

Hapi Burfday Nunu!!!

today iz nunu's burfday!!

yay to all!!!
since she the cutest n a very bwest fwen in the klass,she gets 2 cakes!

no la.actually we got 2 cakes coz;

1) one cake isnt enuf for the entire klass.(duh...)

2) abu oso havent get his burfday cake from us yet so....

he shared today wif nunu!

nunu got a few presents from us too.the cakes were from khidir!(good idea man!my berfday nxt year u get me 3 cakes cos i ur bestie n i eat alot! lmao! juz kiddin! hahax!!!)

i gave nunu a plushie of a cute lil baby pooh bear n 3 lolliz.

n after skool,nisa,zura n abu got nunu a pair of converse shoes shes alwayz wanted!!!(hapi la die tu.)

dan nunu cakap dgn aku utk post gambar2 ari ni kat blog no matter wat or how bad she looked.(even the not so good pix.)

so yea here r the pix from today!

ok nu,aku dah post ni pix post!
u enjoy tau the rest of ur dayz!
i got sumtin damn fukin irritatin as hell i gotta try n do for a long period of time....(it can go on for weeks!!!aaarrrrggghhhh!!!!!!!)

u peepz wanna noe wat it iz?its on the nxt post....T-T

Gone To Johor

ok letz make tiz quik.i dont haf much time to spare now.
yesterday me family went to johor n jln raye there.

i got into me new clothes n get meself packed.(tinkin of callin meself "lollix" now tat i ate lots of lollipops...)
gone in the mornin we 1st ate breakfast outside den we took a bus to get to johor.took some whacked out photos of meself n me lil bro.(tat kidz not bad for a bing n idiot sumtimez.)
we den went of to our cuz house there.met up wif ijah n awin(me 2 lil cuz.) den me family alone went to me fathers ustaz open house.slightly borin,a few "interestin" peepz but itz ok...in the pix above?tatz me bored face.

den we went of to pontian(still a place in johor.) wich our cuz(me uncle drives) came to pik us up later on.had fun wif me lil cuzzies. ^-^
they're rilli cute.

in the pix above?tatz me n ijah.shes the younger off the 2.shes onli 6.(n the ting iz shes crazy for me! lol)tiz iz awin.the freaky older sister of the 2.
ijahs crazy for me n well awin is juz crazy. (lmao!!!)i tink i'll onli put tiz group pix to cover tings up.
a few more wordz?we went bak home at nite.gonna miss those 2.they rilli fun. ^-^

it was a fun day afterall.damn tired when got bak.

Raye Money Spent!!! Aim Complete!!! Mission Accomplish!!! LOL

hey peepz!!
like i promised i'll show u guyz wat i got for meself wif me raye money.
n here they r!1)hand sox(not bad rite?),2)tiz hat(sry i dunnoe wat type of hat itz called...T-T),3)a t-shirt wif a flame shaped necklace on it,4)a rawkerz hoodie filled wif me fav colours black n green wif the patterns of thunder boltz n guitars,5)a bicycle chain as an accessories on me jeans,

6)n me new shoes!

yep those were all the 6 items i bought n i used up nearly all me money on them.now i tink i onli haf half of wat i nid for sumthin for someone.

Shop Til We Drop!!!

yesterday was kool man.
in the mornin got skool la.we planned on goin home 1st den mit up again at bugis mrt station at 5pm.
yup we're goin shoppin!
den tat afternoon,the peepz tat showed up were me(of cos...),zura,nisa,nunu,abu n abu's lil cuz amirul(he was forced to be taken wif us cos his mother gone workin at nite...shish!!!).
nunu was lost actually(lol).she tot we were mitin at city hall mrt int(itz ok la she not to b blamed wif all the confusion of the venue we were tokin about tat mornin.).
to be honest i oso lost when we were goin out durin the fastin month to eat out.i was at kembangan when we were suppose to meet up at paya lebar.lol.
well back to yesterday,we all go bugis street to find our stuffz.we breaked into 2 groups.the gurlz n the guyz.
i finally managed to complete my shoppin list tat day!(yipee!!!)
abu got abit of a problem cos where ever we go most of the shops dont haf his size of clothes! lol.
(he nids to exercise more!)
den later after buyin wat we wan we met up again at a drink stall n went of to orchard road to get wat abu's bin lookin for.his new headphone.(actually juz like mine n zuras one sey except his one iz lime green colour.)
den after tat we went makan at far east!
man i was full sia!i makan nasi goreng pattaya!(okok la sedap nye! ^-^)
den we go jln2 within far east n tried to find anythin of interest.
after tat den we all go bak home...
i went home den oledi tired sia.nice day guyz.rilli enjoyed meself.

I Haf Returned...To Skool!!

today iz thursday.(duh!!memang la!)
aku masih lagi dlm kesakitan tapi at least dah kurang banyak la.
after 2 dayz on mc i finally went bak to skool.2day klass start at 10.30am.me came at nearly 11am gitu.
kwn2 baik ade ckp dgn aku,tanye aku,baik2 dgn aku dan mcm2 lagi la!(i was so touched even if i didnt look like it...tanks guyz.ur the bestz!)

well today after skool me,steffi,nunu,abu,efa,zura n nisa go eat at ljs den we went off to the saloon again.(nisa n nunu wan go cut hair!)
in the end nunu hair iz shorter but i tink look abit the same as b4 cuttin it.(ye la masih cute la...)n nisa look like a guy wif wild hair!(hahax!!!)
the rest of uz waited so long sia!den steffi gotta go(actually still got p.e. lesson but we skipped except for steffi wich was goin.)
after nunu n nisa finish den we went to parkway parade!but not b4 zura n efa livin us n go home la.
abu wan find headphones like mine n zura's but when we looked nearly everywhere,all sold out sia!(lol!!)

but den end up me n nisa buyin some other stuffz!i bought hand sox n a hat.(not odinary hat...)
i'll show u guyz soon of all the itemz i bought wif me raye money!
but now i gotta complete the list 1st.

after the tirin day,(yea me arm still hurts...)we went our seperate wayz n got home.
i den started to feel as if i'm gettin sick sia.

well 2molo go shoppin wif them all again after skool!
cant wait to complete me list of clothes n accessories.

Hurt...Badly...

today nvr go skool...sakit ar.
biase ar tangan aku ni kene atk lagi.it was too much to handle.
the demons had attacked the fortress again last nite.
takle tido til 6am tiz mornin siol...hated meself alot last nite.
bangun kul 2pm gitu ar....borin day.while me fwenz bergembira kat skola,aku stuck at home sufferin from the pain...til skrang ni,still feelin bad n the pain out of 10?its a 6.yea itz bin a long time ever since i had so much pain.sampai terpakse cry the pain out...
fuk...
n i sweared to meself nvr to be in a sad mood ever again some more last time...
n now here i am...hatin meself so much tat i wished i could fix tings in a sec n not a moment to spare.
note to kawan2 yg tersyg skali...i mite not be around for a long time.hope u guyz had loads of fun wifout me...itz ok.u guyz hapi i hapi.u guyz sad i sad.u guyz kill urselves i juz pray by ur graves.(lmao!!!)

Back In Skool

2days the 13th day of raye n oso the 1st day of the new skool term.

aku skrang dalam klass ar.benson nye klass.

takde bende nak blaja ari ni.cuma intro aje of wat we gonna do lar.

gettin new timetable soon.man.....skrang dah mula skola dari pagi sampai petang siol!!!

but at least friday dah takde skola ar sey.

tak tahu asal tapi rase tol2 macam nak skola dan tak nak skola at the same time sey...

aku dah finally jumpa die after so long rase hapi sikit tapi rase bosan tengok die pun ade...

watz up wif tiz mix feelings sia?

Tenjho Tenge Review

tenjho tenge's a show full of action n blood!!!
theres lots of fist fights n well......its quite a lil bit rated actually.(hahax!!)
its a story of 2 kids got into a fightin skool onli to find themselves in lots of trouble n actions!
they made allies n grew stronger.
half the series iz a flash back story tat shows a darker side about the past but yep its all still kool.

rating out of 10? i'll give it a 9!

its ending a lil bit unsatysfying but all 26 episodes r enuf to make u buzy for the entire day!
yea i noe.not a long story now izzit?
if u wanna watch tis nice show,go to youtube la!
itz not shown on tv for its rated insides u c.
well for the viewers,enjoy watchin it!

i'd like to tanx wayne/weng(me ite klassmate) for introducin me tiz anime!

Ari Raye Day 11

in the afternoon juz now i went out wif me family.(jln2 raye la!)
1st we went to simei n visit me granpa lil sis home.kat sane ade kuih yg power sey.(especially the chocolate corn flakes!)
den we oso eat mee rebus sane.okok la.
mase kite ade kat sane,the neighbours from above came by for a visit.(ade cutey sey!hihi!! ^-^)

den after tat go to another house at afghan area there.actually dekat dgn rumah muhsin sey.
i was in heaven there...since makcik aku kat sane tu ade food stall sendiri,dia ade prepare black pepper chiken wings sia!!!
fuh ape lagi?aku pun bedal ar sia banyak2!!!
sampai kenyang!hahax!!sedap.....

yep aku actually hantu ayam!my fav chikens?letz c....
kfc chiken,
mcdonald chiken in mcspicy burgers n their drumlets,
fried chiken wings,
chiken nuggetz,
n the best of all....chiken chop!!! ^-^
well i tink there r a few more other types of chiken food...but tats all i can tink off now.

after finish eatin n berborak-borak kite pun balik...
2molo go out again wif me family.mane pulak eh nak gi?

Ari Raye Day 9

well today iz day 10 of raye la,all the pix were from yesterday n well theres more den these but lazy put all la.(lol)
let me tell u all about tat day.
we were waitin for muhsin at bedok int n it seems a long time waitin sey.tapi lame2 pun sampai jugak budak tu.den when all 6 of us(me,abu,waz,sin,nisa n zura) r 2geter, we went to nisa's place 1st.
den in the bus sin n waz were drummin all the way...haha!
at nisa's place we makan fried noodle sikit.
after goin to nisa's place den we went to my place.all quite n fogot to take pix sia.nvm la.
well after tat we went to khidir's place!
we had loads of laughs there.khidir cant folo us tat noon cos he felt a lil sick.but all went good afterwards.while waitin awhile,we den ate at khidirs place(makan lagi???).we had fried rice(sedap sey...) n garlic breads(pun sedap jugak!).after tat we asked khidir to join n well,he hesitated for awhile.den he agreed to come wif us onli for abu's place wich we were goin to nxt.we den waited for khidir to get ready,we took quite n amount of pix.
well den later at abus place we had quite a time.not bad la there den after tat we're off to zura's place.khidir den went off home 1st(muz let him chill at home to get better.).abu sempat bawak shadez die sey.haha!den we're of to zuras place which iz all the way at woodland there.it took a long time sia ht ebus ride.at zura place later we oso makan again!banyak sia makan ari tu!
den we decided to go to lynn's place pulak.but den zura cant folo us cos her aunts n uncles r comin.den the 5 of us went off n say bye2.but den waz oso gotta go(got meetin wif fwen.) so left me,abu,nisa n sin la.we take taxi to go to lynn's place.at lynns place we oso makan again.by tat time i full oledi sia so i didnt eat much at all.

after tat long day we all go bak home.fun,fun jugak la.i reached home at 11.30pm like tat n damn was i tired.
went straight to bed at 12.30am like tat tis mornin.nak bangun pun susah sia tadi.

well den 2molo went out wif me family again go to my relatives place.banyak jalan!

The BBQ

well i juz got bak from the bbq.it was ok i guess.not too much fun either.
Haizzzzzzz.......
well i got there at 7.15pm like tat.by tat time the guyz there had oledi eaten.
not many came.onli the chinese,the mixture(dino) n me rilli.
yep i tried to eat the entire tray of rice.but as fate has it i wasnt tat hungry after all.
me headphone broke n now i can onli listen to the left side....(WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT!!!!SOBZZZZZZZ!!!!! T-T)
well juz hangin out wif hueva there.christine juz hapi2 take pix onli.ok2 la for her i bet.
den at 10pm steffiz dad pick us up n send us(me,dino n steffi) home.
o well...like they say,the future will alwayz b hell lot better.
hope 2molo jln raye best ar.(fingers twisted!!!)